What's your story?

Recently I've been thinking a lot about mortality.   there's been some deaths within my family and some within my circle of friends and former classmates.   I often find myself wondering why I'm here.  So many wonderful people are gone from this world. Some were fathers and mothers...  some ended their own lives through actions or poor decisions.. .

This all has me thinking about my own life,  my decisions and my actions.  I was never really one to fit in,  even when I tried..  and even when I tried to not fit in,  I failed at non conformity.   Not many people knew of my inner demons.. meaning... I actually had demons.  

Early in Jr. High I had a vision of a demon tell me that I could never be loved.   Not even God loved me.   This set me on a depressive state.. and even though I tried to Worship God, in private I prayed to Satan.  

As for mortality, in my freshman year I became suicidal.. I seriously believed I would die before my 20th birthday,  whether by my hands or someone else's.  Every day I thought about shooting myself in the head.  

After I had enough of living,  I tried praying to God one last time,  explained I was done with everything and either I would die or he would guide me.  

I didn't realize for two years that I had given my life To Christ.   But here I am. 

For 16years, however, I was plagued with the desire to end my life.   Every day I would feel the urge to put a bullet in my brain.  One day I actually pulled the trigger,  but as I had been drinking,  I hadn't advanced a round into the chamber. 
I sit here and think about life.. we're here for more than working 40hours a week and paying bills.  Life is hard and I think of the people that are gone from it; the ones I could have talked to.   I think of the coworker who had so much hurt and loss, and now he's gone.   I'm thankful for what short friendship we had.  

Why am I still here?  Why are any of us still here? 

Our purpose is simple,  Love God and love one another.   The way things are today,  we're taught to hate God love ourselves before anyone else.  

After 16 years of wanting to die,  I finally had my deliverance.   I see the world as more than just a bunch of hustle and bustle, but a place filled with people whose lives hold stories we can all learn from.  

What's your story?

My story is simple and still being written..  I saw a demon and wanted to die,  I gave my life To Christ and gained a reason to live,  and I walked with Christ and angels among the hordes of demons in the spirit realm and came out with no more urge to die.  

So what is your story?